main ATOM feed Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:00:00 -0700 Corral Your Conflict Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 All reasonable people agree that avoiding the muck in communication is best. However, when you find yourself smack-dab in the muck, what do you do? How about when: Annual Employee Reviews: So 20th Century Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Remember when correspondence took a couple of weeks? Now it happens in seconds. Remember the glory days of printed newsletters: the writing, the printing, the stuffing, the stamping, the mailing? Pretty much gone. And how about returning phone calls or emails “as soon as possible”? Now, it’s within a specific number of hours (if you’re savvy).  Ask for It Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Thousands of conversations with people just like you have taught me that even the most educated and experienced people have great difficulty asking for what they want.  Fabulous Communication 10 Ways Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Here are ten behaviors or characteristics you display when you're communicating powerfully: A Positive Identity Crisis Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 A Positive Identity Crisis Leading a Manipulator Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 All of us have known someone like this:  The Curse of Certainty Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Ever said this kind of thing to yourself at work? Know what L.O.V.E. Spells? Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 ‚Äč Follow the Leader? Not Always. Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 OK, leaders. Listen up. You’re doing some stuff that runs counter to your goals and interests. You’re confusing people, because what you say differs from what you do. For example: Culture: Simplicity and Clarity Rule Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Oy. So much bureaucracy, so little effectiveness. I suppose if you’re just trying to teach team members how to be involved in groups, this approach is fine. But if you’re really trying to build a culture, simplicity and clarity rule the day.  Stress Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700   Resistance is Exhausting. Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 So many irritants, so little time. Cowardly colleagues, pitiful partners, mediocre managers. I could go on and on, but you know what I’m talking about. You’ve either said this or heard it more than once: “This guy is the WORST. His behavior is unacceptable. I can’t stand him.” "I Will Help You." Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 The weirdness started when I was headed home from a speaking gig. Riding from my hotel to the airport, Don the cab driver mentioned that he supports a presidential candidate that I don't. This could have been a nightmarish trip, but it wasn’t. We spent the whole 45 minute ride talking and listening to each other. We were both questioning, searching, wondering how to make our country better. When we reached the airport, I searched for my eyeglasses so I could sign my receipt; when I couldn't find them, Don lent me his. We thanked each other for the good discussion and said goodbye. How Much Does Your Money Cost? Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 We’ve all had this thought: if only I were making more money, I could buy ______________, or feel ______________, or be _______________. We hardly ever think about the cost of making more money. I think we should. What is Your Story? Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 When I coach professionals, the most important thing we do together is to find out what story they are telling themselves. Until we become aware of and understand that, we can’t solve much of anything.  Close the Gap Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Everyone has trouble with someone at work. Even you. Maybe it’s a less experienced team member. Maybe it’s a peer. Maybe it’s your boss. Whoever it is, you feel a distance, a wariness setting in toward this Other. Things used to be alright, but for whatever reason, they aren’t anymore. You don’t like the situation.  Turn Down the Turmoil on Tough Conversations Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 You know how it feels: your gut is tight, your heart rate is up, your hands are sweaty. This is often what happens when you have to engage in a tough conversation with a team member. The hell of it is, you called the meeting, because you’re the leader.  Leading with Empathy: L.O.V.E. at Work Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Four components comprise L.O.V.E. at work: loyalty, openness, vulnerability, and empathy. Of these, empathy may be the most vital for leaders of professional services firms.  Leading With Vulnerability: L.O.V.E. at Work Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 As a leader, you carry unique burdens. But you can lighten the load and become better at your job by adding vulnerability to your skill set. Yes. You read that right. Civility as a Tactic Wed, 31 Dec 1969 17:00:00 -0700 Diving into a conversation that simply dumps your needs onto someone else may not be your most effective approach. Without some kind of softener like Hi, how are things going? or Is now a good time?,  you  are omitting an essential part of the equation: whether the listener wants to be engaged with you in that moment. Acknowledging what the other person wants or needs is a pretty good definition of both powerful communication and civility.